Rant...

Hey! So right now it's 4:50 in the morning here in Maryland and I haven't been able to sleep because I've been thinking about a lot of things. 
First of all, my birthday is in 2 days and I've been really busy and excited about that!
And secondly, I've been on Twitter and Facebook all night long and I've seen posts about people saying that they wished that there mom or dad was dead.
Now as you guys know that is a really sore subject for me since I lost my mother 6 years ago due to a stroke. 
One thing that I have to say is that why would you wish death on someone? Especially your parents...
I miss my mother every day...I lost my mother when I was 11 years old and I live my life every single day missing my mother and wishing that she was still here. 
I had to sit back and watch my mother live another day closer to death in that nursing home. She fought so hard for 4 years being trapped in that nursing home...and being paralyzed on the right side..and not being able to talk. 
I had to sit back and watch my mom have mini strokes...and watch her have seizures.
I ended up leaving the nursing home and never going back because I got so scared and I didn't wanna see her like that.
And a week after that she died...
Now part of me feels like it's my fault that she died. I was her partner. I would lay in bed with her every day after school and watch Nickelodeon with her and eat Burger King with her and be happy and talk about my day with her even though she couldn't talk back. Atleast I knew that I still had a mother there and atleast I knew she was listening. 
And then I stopped going and I feel like I broke her heart. My dad tells me that she understood but I kept a promise to her that I would visit every day until she got better. But I broke that promise. And she died.
It's 6 years later now and I'm almost 17 years old. I think about my mother every single second of every day and I cry my eyes out because I miss her so much.
My mother never got to see me get promoted from elementary school...she never got to see me get promoted from middle school...and now she won't be able to be there for my 17th birthday party, she won't be able to be there for my wedding..or for the birth of my kids. 
I hear a lot of stories from my dad and from the rest of my family that my mom was a badass...she stood up for herself, she worked hard, she took care of me and my siblings. 
My dad always tells me how when my brother was when high school that he used to skip school and get suspended all the time. And my mother one time drove him to school and walked him to all his classes and sat down beside him all day long and then my brothers Senior Year he got honor roll and perfect attendance because my mom scared him into doing great in school.
And now look at me...I'm a high school dropout...I'm 16 years old and I only have my dad.
I feel like I'm such a disappointment to my mother because I feel like I let her down and I said I had all these high hopes and that I was gonna make a career for myself. And that I was gonna graduate high school and become a professional wrestler. 
Well look at me now...I can't start training for wrestling because I don't have any money. I can't buy wrestling boots...I can't get a simple gym membership...and I'm stuck at home all day long because I have no friends around here. The only thing I have here that makes me wake up in the morning is my family, my best friend Shelby and Cimorelli.
You guys know my obsession with Cimorelli. They are my most favorite band ever. They are the ones who make me fight every day. There songs are so inspirational and every time I listen to them I cry my eyes out thinking of all the problems I'm going through right now. The Cimorelli girls are part of the reason why I'm still alive today. If it wasn't for them I would probably be dead right now. They give me hope that someday something good will happen to me. They inspire me to do my best. And without them I would just be nothing. They make me feel like I'm worth it. Even though I don't know them physically. In my mind they are my bestest friends...I wish I could meet them someday but like I said I have no money and trust me if I could I would go to one of there concerts. But maybe someday. And when that someday comes I will cry my eyes out thanking them for everything they have done for me. If the Cimorelli girls are reading this I just wanna say thank you so much for everything you do. I have been your fan ever since 2011. You girls make me smile with every video you upload. You girls have been my rock through all these hard times. I have lost my mother, my house caught on fire, I almost lost my dad and my brother. But you girls gave me hope that everything will be alright. I hope that someday everything will turn out the way I want it to. Thank you guys for being my role models.

Christina, thank you for showing me that I can be a leader and that I don't have to listen to what people think about me or tell other people.

Katherine, thank you for your inspirational poems and quotes and just everything. You are a true poet and I read your poems everyday and they get me through some hard times so keep writing.

Lisa, thank you for getting me through all these hard times. I've seen all the stuff you write on your Tumblr page and I know what you go through. I feel depressed a lot from time to time and you taught me that no matter what I'm never alone.

Amy, thank you for teaching me the power that you have. You have so much power and so much strength and I love you for that. You teach me to be brave.

Lauren, thank you so much for helping me bring out my inner me. Me and you are a lot alike. We are both shy but outspoken. I've been shy my whole life and people make fun of me because I don't talk that much. Thank you for teaching me that I have a voice and that I need to use it.

Dani, thank you for teaching me that I shouldn't hate my voice. I understand the type of things people say to you because of how low your voice is. My voice sounds like I'm a 12 year old. I'm 17. So I know how bad it hurts being made fun of because of your voice. Thank you.

Look all I'm saying is to love your parents and never wish that they were dead because some day you will regret it. Don't become a disgrace to your family name like me. And don't become a disappointment like me. 

Renegade EP Sampler

Alright people! Since I am back it is time for me to catch up on my Cimorelli videos with all of you!! This is the Renegade EP Sampler of sneak peeks of the videos for the songs. The first sneak peek is That Girl Should Be Me. Which music video I will talk about in my next blog! That Girl Should Be Me is about Christina's personal story with one of her ex boyfriends. Basically she had a date with the guy and he blew her off and she was walking down the street and saw him in his car with another girl in his passenger seat!!! RUDE! 
The next song was I Got You. I Got You is about how no matter what happens in your life that through the ups and the downs someone is going to be there for you rather its your family, your friends, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whoever. No matter what happens those people are always gonna have your back at the end of the day.
My favorite song is next and it is You're Worth It. I'm really excited about this music video because it looks so good already from what I've seen in the sneak peeks! This song was written by Christina and Lisa and they want there fans to feel like they're worth it. Every time I see them perform that song on stage I can feel the passion they have when they sing it and I love it. I'm super excited for this video.
And last but not least is Renegade! The moment I first heard this song I automatically feel in love with it. They first performed this song when they performed at Universal Citywalk last year. Christina wrote this song about how a bunch of record labels wanted them to change and wanted to have a certain music style and basically wanted them to act like someone they're not. These girls are good girls who want to be rolemodels for little girls to look up to and no matter what record label you are you are not gonna change these girls. It's like in the song "this renegades not changing" <3 :) 

I am absolutely in love with this EP this is most definitely my favorite EP out of all of them. They've said it in a bunch of interviews that this is the first EP that these songs are all personal and that's the one reason why I love them so much. That Girl Should Be Me and I Got You music videos are already out and I can't wait for You're Worth It and Renegade to come out! :D 

I'm Back!!!

Hey guys!!! I am back!!! I know I haven't posted in a while but I am back so don't worry! I took a break because I had some writer's block and basically didn't know what to talk about in my blog posts. 

Ever since I took my little break I got my own laptop! And it has a webcam so that means that I might be able to make videos for you! 

I will be updating the blog all night tonight talking about Cimorelli's newest videos that came out while I was on break so let's get right on to it!! :D <3

Love you guys! 

My Experience With Anxiety

Hey guys!! So today I'm going to be talking about my experience with anxiety. I've never really had to deal with anxiety before until last year. Around this time last year I was extremely sick. I had a sore throat and a busted ear drum. And I was out for school for a week and a half. And when I got better I didn't wanna go back to school. I mean I went a couple times to school but I wasn't used to walking around the whole school so I would get headaches real easily and I would have to go home early. So being at home so much made me not want to go back. 

It got worse and me and my dad would get into huge fights about it and I would freak out and cry and just have a breakdown. And that's basically when my anxiety started. It sucks to have anxiety but it's definitely something you don't want to mess with. My anxiety was so bad that I even told my school counselor that I was gonna kill myself and I had to go to a rehab center but I only stayed there for one day because I was having a non stop breakdown when my dad left me there. 

A lot of people don't understand what I go through with this anxiety. The one person who does understand it is my best friend Shannon. Shannon goes through anxiety too. She even went to a rehab center for 30 days due to it. I feel like if I have any problems with anxiety or whatever that I can go to her for advice since she's basically going through the same thing I am. 

Just like yesterday, I was stressed because me and my dad were fighting about my computer and I was so stressed, I was crying and shaking. It was bad. And so I went over to Shannon's house for an hour or so while she was getting ready for the Homecoming Dance that happened last night at my old high school. 

Shannon helps me out a lot, same with Shelby. Them two are most definitely the people I go to for help. Anxiety eats me up everyday and I honestly hate it. It kills me to have to deal with this because this anxiety has basically costed me my graduation this year. I know half of it was my fault but to me if I didn't have this anxiety it wouldn't of happened at all. 

Anxiety is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of someone who tried to remain strong for so long. And that someone is me. 

Alright well that is it! Sorry guys that it was a short blog today! I'm currently writing this at 8 in the morning tired as hell! You guys know the drill follow me on Twitter @Nikki_Cimorelli for more updates on my blog and about my life. Also follow me on Instagram instagram.com/spikernicole. If you are on Quotev.com be sure to follow me on there at quotev.com/PrincessOfProWrestling!!! Love you guys! :) <3 

Cimorelli Review: Shake It Off Cover! / Rant!

Hey guys!! Today I'm going to be doing a review of Cimorelli's new cover of Taylor Swift's latest hit Shake It Off!! Now I've been waiting for this cover to come out ever since the girls filmed it!! 

This cover was definitely worth the wait!!! All the girls sounded so good in it and this has definitely stole a spot in my Top 10 Favorite Cimorelli Covers!!! I love how they're all having fun in this. 

The person who directed this was Dani Abraham, she directed some of their covers such as Mirrors with James Maslow. I'll be sure to put her Twitter down below! 

My favorite part of this cover was honestly the whole thing but if I had to pick a part it would definitely have to be Dani and Laurens part at 2:30 AND another one of my favorite parts of it is Lisa and Amy at 2:54!!! I loved their energy that was in this video!

Like I said this is definitely in my Top 10 Favorite Cimorelli Covers now! Maybe as my #5 or #4 now! 

A lot of people were commenting on the video saying that they miss the old Cimorelli. Which I don't understand at all, they haven't changed! They're still the same girls from the Party In The USA video!! That is one thing that gets on my nerves easily is when people bully the girls and make fun of them and call them names when yet they're just being themselves. They're having fun and they're doing what they love to do and that's perform! They love to sing, to dance, to act. And if you don't support that or like that then why are you even clicking on their videos to start with. 

People need to definitely think before they say something. Because the Cimfam go crazy when someone disrespects their girls! TRUST ME! You do NOT want to be near the Cimfam when someone talks trash about Cimorelli! Heck I even go off on people who talk trash about their fingers or their music and honestly I'm not proud of that but these girls are most definitely my life and without them today I don't know where I would be. 

So what if their fingers aren't perfect, they can't do anything about that. It's not like they're gonna get surgery to fix them. And their music...okay...yeah they sing the songs that have curse words in it and basically bleep the curse words or change up the lyrics to make it more cleaner doesn't make them dumb or stupid. They're a good girl group. They have fans who are basically 7 years old and up! Plus they have a 14 year old in the band! To me they're definitely role models. They're not encouraging 7 year olds to twerk or to curse or to hit people. They're teaching kids and teenagers today to be yourself and to feel like you're worth it and never to change yourself. To be honest they're basically saving peoples lives with their music. And that's something that the music industry needs to hear and promote a whole lot more. 

Okay so I know this was supposed to be a review of Cimorelli's new cover but I just really had to get that off of my chest in order to sleep tonight! Be sure to check out the cover and to subscribe to Cimorelli on YouTube youtube.com/cimorellitheband and be sure to follow the girls @Cimorelliband @ChristinaCIM @KathCim @LisaCim @AmyCim @LaurenCimorelli and @DaniCim . You can also follow the director of the cover video @DaniAbe . Also be sure to like them on Facebook facebook.com/Cimorelliband . 

Also be sure to follow me on Twitter @Nikki_Cimorelli for updates on my life! And follow me on Instagram instagram.com/spikernicole for pictures! I don't get on Instagram that much but hopefully once I get a phone that will change!! Also if you're on Quotev.com be sure to follow me quotev.com/PrincessOfProWrestling don't worry I follow back!! Tweet me suggestions of what you want to see on my blog! More Cimorelli? Fun Tags? Q&As? Some inspiration posts: Depression, Anxiety, Cutting, etc? TWEET ME! Let me know! Hahaha alright guys I'll see you tomorrow!! Happy Saturday!! BYE! 

The Tattoos That I Want!

Hey guys!! It's Nicole! And today I'm going to be talking about the tattoos that I most definitely want in the future. Now usually people my age already have like 10 to 15 tattoos but my dad is really strict with me and I can't even get my nose pierced because he always says no. But he said that as long as I'm out of his house he doesn't care if I get tattoos. 

All I know is that when I turn 18 next year that's when I want to get my first tattoo. 

Now my first tattoo that I want to get is for my mom. I want to get a cross on my thigh and on top of the cross I want it to say "My Guardian Angel" and at the bottom of the cross I want it to say "Marcella Lorraine Spiker 1958 - 2008" The one reason why I want that to be my first tattoo is because ever since my mom died I've always wanted a tattoo for my mom to remember her by. I know my mom is definitely my Guardian Angel up in Heaven right now and I know that she's watching me right now while I'm typing this and smiling while watching me. Love you mommy!! :) <3

Another tattoo that I want is for my dad. I want to get it on my other thigh! I want it to say "Daddy's Little Girl" with a heart beside it and I want it say "1955" to whenever my dad dies. I have always been a daddy's girl. My dad is honestly my best friend. He has been there for me when no one else has and he's gone through everything I have and he's my whole life honestly. I'm proud to say that I'm a Daddy's Girl. :) 

Now, I want tattoos for my brother and my sister Jennifer and Jimmy. On one wrist I want it to say "Jen" with a heart beside it for Jennifer. And on my other wrist I want it to say "Jimmy" with a star beside it. The heart for Jennifer because she always makes me feel loved even though she likes to joke around and be sarcastic at times. And the star for Jimmy because he honestly makes my life more bright and he makes me smile everyday. 

I also want the word "Dreamer" on my pointer finger. The reason why I want that is because I've always been called a Dreamer by my dad. He calls me that because I dream of a lot of things and a lot of those things that I dream makes me want to achieve them. I dream of A LOT of stuff!

When I get married, I definitely want to get my husband's name on the side of my ring finger so that way when I don't wear my wedding ring I still will have his name on my finger to make me smile and happy. 

Also! When I have kids I would love to have my kids names on my fingers. The number of kids that I want is between 4 to 6 kids. I would absolutely love to have a big family! And I honestly would love to have all of there names tattooed on my fingers or somewhere on my body. 

That's all the tattoos that I can think of right now! As you can tell I really like to have special tattoos that mean something. I'm sure everyone does! But there are some people out there who get tattoos for no reason what so ever. My brother says that I wouldn't be able to deal with the pain because I'm so skinny but this is something that I really want. I really want to get all these tattoos. And if that means having to sit for like 3 to 4 hours in pain then so be it! I know it's going to be worth it in the end. :) <3 

Alright guys! That is it for today's blog I will see you guys tomorrow with a whole new blog post!! And as always follow me on Twitter @Nikki_Cimorelli and on Instagram instagram.com/spikernicole. Be sure to Tweet me with ideas for a blog post!!! I always love suggestions!! :) <3 

Top 10 Favorite Cimorelli Covers! :D

Hey guys it's Nicole! Today I'm going to be doing my Top 10 Favorite Cimorelli Covers. Now Cimorelli has done a lot of covers and they've all been really great and fun to watch but there are some that have caught my eye and have made me rewatch them atleast 40 times! Just like yesterday I'm going to be going backwards from 10 to 1. 1 being my favorite one ever! So lets get this thing started people!

10. Yeah Right by Dionne Bromfield Cover 

The one thing I love most about this cover is how they all dressed retro. This video was posted back in 2011 and the one thing that I loved about this was Christinas rap in it! She killed it! I love Amy and Dani's vocals in this video they both had such powerful vocals in this song and I feel like that's what made this cover more fun! They all were so sassy in this video hahaha

9. You and I by Lady Gaga Cover

I watch this cover all the time and I still get chills! This song really showed off all of their voices so good! I loved when they did their covers like this with the piano. They did some really great covers with the piano and I feel like this was the best one with the piano! I feel like they all gave their best in that song I still love listening to it today!

8. I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz Cover

This is another piano cover that they did that also gives me chills everytime I listen to it. I especially love how they included When I Look At You by Miley Cyrus into it I feel like that really made the cover better. The harmonies in this cover blew me away the first time I watched it. Katherine, Amy and Lisa are definitely my favorites in this one. Katherine with her powerful voice doing her solo, Amy doing the fast part in the middle and Lisa with the When I Look At You part. They all absolutely blew me away, 

7. Stronger by Kelly Clarkson Cover

One reason why I love this cover is because I love how in the beginning they talked about Maria and the problems that she's going through and I love how they basically dedicated this song for her. Another reason why I love this cover is because at the end when they all hold hands just makes me smile like crazy! 

6. As Long As You Love Me by Justin Bieber Cover

I love how in this cover that they're promoting Don't Text And Drive campaign! And I love the dance that they do and of course there voices in this! Their harmonies and vocals in this are absolutely amazing! I've watched this video so many times I know the whole dance hahaha. 

5. Just Give Me A Reason by Pink & Nate Ruess Cover

This cover has definitely been in my Top 10 Covers for a long long time. I love the arrangement in this. I feel like Dani's voice especially fits into this song. My favorite part ever of this cover is Lisa and Christina's duet at 2:19. Both of them sounded SO good during that part!! And another part that I loved was when they all wrote down their biggest problems on rocks and threw them. Like they're getting that problem out of their body! And that's something that I really loved about the video. 

4. Mirrors by Justin Timberlake Cover

Now they did this cover with James Maslow aka James Diamond from the TV show Big Time Rush. All of them sounded so good together and I feel like this was a great collaboration and a great song to cover! I never thought that they would ever do a cover with James but they did and it sounds so good! 

3. Cruise by Florida Georgia Line Cover

I love how in this video they put in videos from when they took a roadtrip to Northern California: their hometown. Cruise has always been my favorite song and I feel like they did a great job covering it. I love how in this video it showed them spending time with their brothers and their friends and family that they basically don't get to see that much. I love videos like this so hopefully they'll be more of these! 

2. Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus

This is definitely my #2 choice because I love how much emotion they put into this cover and how they look like they're actually heartbroken. I used to not like this song but ever since this cover I've been in love with the song! They definitely did this song better than Miley! I feel like this should of been the type of music video that Miley should of done. 

And 1. Let It Go from Frozen 

Now for those of you who read my 50 facts about me post then you would know that I am obsessed with the movie Frozen! And my most favorite song from that movie is definitely Let It Go! When I first watched this cover I automatically fell in love with Lisa and Lauren's high note towards the end of the song. This video is definitely my favorite cover of all time that Cimorelli has posted! 

There you go guys! My Top 10 Favorite Cimorelli Covers! Be sure to check out Cimorelli on Youtube youtube.com/cimorellitheband. And be sure to check them out on Twitter @Cimorelliband.
Alright guys be sure follow me on Twitter @Nikki_Cimorelli and follow me on Instagram instagram.com/spikernicole. I will see you guys tomorrow with another blog!!! BYE EVERYBODY!